Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Coming home

I'm back home and getting settled. I'm more or less over the jet lag and am now trying to get back in the swing of things here in Raleigh. It's been more difficult than I thought it would just because right away there's so much to do. Get bills paid up, dust, weed (the garden is a mess, though the plants are all quite happy), beg for my job back, catch up with friends, etc. etc. Oh yeah, and persuade my cat to start speaking to me again. He spent the month living with a friend and was Not Happy With Me upon his return.

Tonight I've got a phone date with E, the HPS of the coven I'm interviewing with. I'm pretty excited about it and hope that my old cell phone won't crap out on me halfway through. I'm having my usual misgivings. On the one hand, I think I'm ready for taking another stab at group work. I don't think I'm meant to be solitary. On the other, school eats my life. Being in a coven brings a lot of responsibility and it can be a big time commitment if you're having to travel to circles. "I have a lot of homework tonight" doesn't really fly as an excuse. Not that I can't be committed or I'm planning on being a flake, but everyone's got a life that gets in the way sometimes. In the fall, I have to start sending out applications and bracing myself for rejection, and I don't know how smart I'm being taking on coven responsibilities at the same time. But, again, life is always going to get in the way and at some point we have to just suck it up and either do what we want or not. This is what I want. I just have to be really disciplined.

Part of this is me freaking out about school. Again. Still. It never ends. The goal is to stay in Raleigh. That leaves me with exactly two school choices, one of which isn't exactly ideal (Duke) and the other which will most likely reject me (Chapel Hill). I'm applying out of state, too (so far Indiana and Columbia...more to come), but honestly I haven't formulated much of an opinion on any other schools. SOMEONE TAKE ME PLEASE.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Not so awesome books

Obviously, since I ignored this blog for more than year, I haven't written about books in FOREVER. Books are kind of a big deal for me. My obsession with books has actually strained my relationships with people in the past, but it's not something I'm looking to curtail. I'm basically a professional student, after all, and (an assortment of gods willing) on my way to PhD-dom. Books are pretty much what I do.

When it comes to Craft books, I'm both a collector and a snob. I like to keep copies of what I read and I'm willing to read most anything as long as it says something new (even if it's wrong). I conduct all of my Amazon searches by publication date and often pre-order Craft-related titles if they look interesting (yeah, yeah, I know...shop locally, support Pagan-run shops. But the fact is, for the volume that I read, it just doesn't make sense to constantly be placing special orders and then waiting forever to receive them. And paying more. Nevermind the low quality of the one Pagan store in my city). There are several used bookshops in my area and they know me at almost all them because I regularly clean out the occult section of anything worthwhile (which, admittedly, isn't usually very much). I've been at this for something like ten years. All this to say that I have a lot of books. When I get home, I'll post a picture of some of my shelves. It's absurd.

The snobbery comes when I'm asked for recommendations. I've already posted about my favorites, and that all still holds true for me, so I thought maybe I could post my thoughts on some of the usuals suggested by others. This isn't a list of "books I hate" by any means, just commentary on the stuff that's typically recommended. Like last time, the pictures are links to Amazon's description page.

Amazon


Okay, so everyone reads Scott Cunningham (terrible new cover art aside). This was one of the first books I read and I remember thinking it was pretty good (though not nearly as much fun as Silver RavenWolf). Reading it again, I still think it's pretty decent in some respects, though I would now say that it must be considered within its context and supplemented with additional reading. I don't see much of a place for Cunningham outside of considering him for the sake of history. For better or worse, he was (and continues to be) extremely influential. But there are much better books for the solitary available now (see my first books post). I also wish that I knew something more about Cunningham's lineage. Does he even have a lineage?

Amazon


Looking back on this book, I can see why it appealed to (Willow)Thorn circa 1998. It was shiny, fun to read, and promised STUFF. One of the early chapters is on "stocking your magickal cabinet." In fact, there's not a lot of genuine religion (whether Wicca or not) in this book at all. It's mostly about the paraphernalia that can go along with it (correspondences, tools, herbs, stones, tips on making purchases and making things, etc.). People tend to like stuff, and this book condones a certain degree of materialism. I'm not exactly condemning it for that (I'm the one who chooses books over people, after all), but it does put it several miles away from my list of recommended reading. I also crack up every time I read the infamous athame line (in my copy it's on page 92, but I don't know where it is in the new one): (paraphrasing from memory) "The athame stands for reasoning and the intellect. I don't use mine very often." We all know what she meant, but it's still hilarious. I don't feel that it's necessary for me to comment much further on RavenWolf (using Wicca and witchcraft interchangeably, being deliberately vague on her training, maligning other traditions, etc. etc.), because a million people already have, and in much better ways than I ever could.

Amazon


I don't have tons to say about Teen Witch that hasn't already been said. Honestly, I don't think it's the worst thing she's ever written, and I figure that if I could read a book like this when I was 13 and still turn out Trad, it can't be All That Horrible. I think we should collectively give teenagers more credit in their ability to be discerning. I will say, though, that Llewellyn should definitely bring back the original (hysterical) cover art. Ditto for To Ride a Silver Bromstick, which had the world's best artwork, inside and out. EVER.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling anyone not to read anything. I'm not condemning authors or publishers. These are just my current thoughts (minimal and not-so-profound as they are) on these particular books. Pretty much every YouTube Wiccan has a video singing the praises of these books and I just happen to disagree. No big.

Sidenote: In setting up the links to Amazon, I saw that Silver RavenWolf's Teen Witch Kit is going for between $60 (used) and $300 (new). INSANE. But suddenly I'm really excited to own one. I mean, more excited.

Further sidenote: Just in case people are curious (and you've seriously not yet encountered the big to do that surrounds Silver RavenWolf), here are links to an assortment of articles. This isn't me saying that I necessarily agree with 100% of what's here, it's just for your consideration:
Wicca For the Rest of Us: Why We Despise Silver RavenWolf
Wicca Explained: The Status of Silver RavenWolf

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Interviewing for a coven and reflections on the past

So for the last month I've been in Paris for school. This past week I finished my program, and now I'm just here for another week to actually enjoy the city sans homework. My parents arrived two days ago to accompany me. Suddenly the trip has an entirely different atmosphere, as my father is Very Very American. He's appalled at the absence of ice in drinks, air conditioning, and spacious bathrooms. I think I actually heard him threaten someone at the Louvre yesterday.

Anyway, that's not what I'm here to write about.

I'm writing because for the last two weeks I've been e-mail interviewing with a coven and I've made it to stage two: the phone call. Obviously, that has to wait until I get back, but I'm really excited about it. Mostly I've been e-mailing with the group's HP, but it was the HPS who sent me the last e-mail, saying she'd like to continue the discussion via the telephone. I think if I hadn't done this once before already I'd be scared out of my mind. Now, I figure they'll either be a match or they won't. If they're not, I'll keep seeking. I was really hoping to find a coven within this particular tradition (which I won't name out of respect for the group and for the sake of my own privacy) and I'm pleased to have finally done so.

This particular group is very much in the broom closet, which actually pleases me quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm personally very open about being Wiccan, but I'd rather be a part of a group that wasn't very public. The wider Pagan community, bless their hearts, is just a huge headache sometimes, and I don't want to get caught up in the drama that inevitably arises when differing trads and opinions interact for prolonged periods of time. If no one knows what you do and believe, then no one's there to argue with you. I'm especially trying to avoid the "Real Wicca" debate. Yeah, I have an opinion and it's something I care about, but I don't want to fight about it. It doesn't solve anything. Trad Wiccans are always going to go on doing what they're doing, and eclectics are going to keep on, too.

It's so weird to be interviewing with coven #2 and thinking back on where I've been and how far I've come. I got involved in Wicca the same way most people do nowadays: through a friend, and by reading the kind of books that make me cringe now. I remember being in high school and dreaming of the days when I would have my own money to buy whatever books or supplies I wanted, the freedom to practice ritual openly (outside, even!), the ability to attend festivals and open rituals, and the knowledge and experience to finally feel comfortable with what I was doing. Most importantly, a real connection to the Divine. Now, with or without a coven, I'm finally here. It makes me think about the two friends I started all of this with back in high school. I don't keep in touch with either anymore. I wonder if they're still Pagan.

As a sidenote, a million thank yous to my thirteen-year-old self for starting to journal right away and being so consistent. While not every little thing is documented, there's enough to get an overall sense of where I've been. It can't be overemphasized how important it is to start a book of shadows (or something) right away. My first was a composition notebook covered in duct tape. After that it was three ring binders. Now, it's mostly bound books. But it doesn't matter. They all end up being precious in the end.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. In a little while it's off to dinner at a very French restaurant that, despite the heat and no ice, I hope my parents will find charming and satisfying.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Holy crap! It's been more than a year!

But that's okay. I realize that I lost all of my followers, so now I'm talking to myself, but maybe that will change soon.

A lot has changed in the last year and a half. I'm at a different university studying something completely different, I'm freshly single, I've formally left the circle I'd been a part of since 2005, and I'm suddenly feeling weirdly motivated to reconnect to the interwebs. Summer does that to me. I also have a new YouTube channel that you can find here. I had one last year for about three seconds, and then got weirded out by it. But I want to try again.

My life IMPLODED this year, and now I'm trying to put it back together in a pleasing fashion.