Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Coming home

I'm back home and getting settled. I'm more or less over the jet lag and am now trying to get back in the swing of things here in Raleigh. It's been more difficult than I thought it would just because right away there's so much to do. Get bills paid up, dust, weed (the garden is a mess, though the plants are all quite happy), beg for my job back, catch up with friends, etc. etc. Oh yeah, and persuade my cat to start speaking to me again. He spent the month living with a friend and was Not Happy With Me upon his return.

Tonight I've got a phone date with E, the HPS of the coven I'm interviewing with. I'm pretty excited about it and hope that my old cell phone won't crap out on me halfway through. I'm having my usual misgivings. On the one hand, I think I'm ready for taking another stab at group work. I don't think I'm meant to be solitary. On the other, school eats my life. Being in a coven brings a lot of responsibility and it can be a big time commitment if you're having to travel to circles. "I have a lot of homework tonight" doesn't really fly as an excuse. Not that I can't be committed or I'm planning on being a flake, but everyone's got a life that gets in the way sometimes. In the fall, I have to start sending out applications and bracing myself for rejection, and I don't know how smart I'm being taking on coven responsibilities at the same time. But, again, life is always going to get in the way and at some point we have to just suck it up and either do what we want or not. This is what I want. I just have to be really disciplined.

Part of this is me freaking out about school. Again. Still. It never ends. The goal is to stay in Raleigh. That leaves me with exactly two school choices, one of which isn't exactly ideal (Duke) and the other which will most likely reject me (Chapel Hill). I'm applying out of state, too (so far Indiana and Columbia...more to come), but honestly I haven't formulated much of an opinion on any other schools. SOMEONE TAKE ME PLEASE.