Hi, everyone! Just a brief note to let you all know that I'm transferred the material here (and am writing in) a new blog over at www.thornthewitch.wordpress.com
Make your way on over!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
C is for creepy men at festivals
In my experience, Neo-Pagans tend to be more open about sex than the general population. I've often repeated the maxim that Wicca is fundamentally about sex and death, and I maintain that with a hefty dose of adamance. I saw a video recently on YouTube in which someone offered up an interpretation of the Charge that included arguing that "ye shall be naked in your rites" was some sort of metaphor for being yourself and not trying to hide who you are. That's a super sweet interpretation and I'm thrilled that this person was able to derive personal meaning in drawing this conclusion, but that absolutely wasn't the original intention of the piece (which, by the way, wasn't written by the Goddess Herself). Naked means naked.
All this to say, witches and Pagans tend to not mind being naked, talking about and engaging in sex, etc. We're not prudes.
That said, being Pagan does not require that one have sex, feel comfortable naked (especially in public), or want to talk openly about sex, etc. And yet over and over again I find myself having to deal with other Pagans who assume that, because I'm a Pagan, too, I'm promiscuous or okay with sharing the details of my personal life with strangers (who, just by virtue of being Pagan, are not automatically "family" or even "community").
I'll come out and say it: traumatic past experiences have left me with serious man problems. I'm not inherently trusting, patient, or forgiving where they're concerned. I've picked fights with guys who've catcalled me, I often call men out for harassing women or mistreating their wives and girlfriends, and I can't tolerate any sort of media that I feel encourages people to become desensitized to violence against women (*cough* Game of Thrones *cough*). Yeah, I realize that women can suck, too. I've heard all of that from the offended men in my life. I don't give a shit. That fact is that men have more power in society than women do and are more likely to commit violent crimes against women than vice versa. Having experienced such violence, I don't want to hear about how, "Well, men can be victimized, too!" Go find someone else if you're looking for sympathy.
I'm admitting all of this to the interwebs because I think it may be important in order for you to understand that I'm hyper sensitive to sexual harassment.
Leering at a woman while she's in sacred space, trying to hug her (because Pagans are supposed to hug instead of shake hands, right?) just so you can feel her up, or otherwise making unwelcome advancements repeatedly is unacceptable. Being Pagan isn't an excuse to be a creeper.
While at festival, I had a merchant creep up behind me and offer to buy my underwear. I was't sure how to feel after giving it some thought, but initially I was disturbed and offended. Viscerally I was repulsed. Needless to say, I left and maintained my distance for the rest of the week. I've also had plenty of comments left on videos I've made that have been sexual in nature and otherwise off-topic and unwelcome. When I've deleted the comment and said something to the perpetrator, what I usually hear is, "It was meant to be a compliment!"
It's not a fucking compliment. It's harassment. Knock it the fuck off. You want to appreciate a woman's body from a distance and indulge in lusty fantasies on your own, fine. Go for it. Hey, I've objectified plenty of men in my day. But bringing it to her attention so explicitly is not necessarily welcome, nor should you assume that it will be.
While we're on the subject of sex and nudity, I want to say something about clothing optional, family-friendly festivals like Free Spirit Gathering (where I was this past week):
Including children is great. Encouraging children to be comfortable with nudity (both their own and others') is great. But assuming that it's always safe to do so is not okay. Yes, it's a Pagan festival. The theory is that Pagans are more honest, more open, and more ethical than the population at large. Sadly, this is not actually the case. At a festival where anyone with the money can attend and where you're not always there to monitor your child's every move, maybe it's not the greatest idea that you allow your child to run freely, and unclothed, at that. I want to trust people, I do. I want to believe that things like rape don't occur at festivals. But it does. I don't understand why people are so readily willing to risk the safety of their children for the sake of idealism.
I'll close by saying that there's nothing wrong with promiscuity (and I'm applying that term to both women and men). With regard to sex, I think whatever floats your boat (provided you're not hurting anyone else) is all good. I just think we sometimes need to be more considerate of others and keep a closer watch on our children.
All this to say, witches and Pagans tend to not mind being naked, talking about and engaging in sex, etc. We're not prudes.
That said, being Pagan does not require that one have sex, feel comfortable naked (especially in public), or want to talk openly about sex, etc. And yet over and over again I find myself having to deal with other Pagans who assume that, because I'm a Pagan, too, I'm promiscuous or okay with sharing the details of my personal life with strangers (who, just by virtue of being Pagan, are not automatically "family" or even "community").
I'll come out and say it: traumatic past experiences have left me with serious man problems. I'm not inherently trusting, patient, or forgiving where they're concerned. I've picked fights with guys who've catcalled me, I often call men out for harassing women or mistreating their wives and girlfriends, and I can't tolerate any sort of media that I feel encourages people to become desensitized to violence against women (*cough* Game of Thrones *cough*). Yeah, I realize that women can suck, too. I've heard all of that from the offended men in my life. I don't give a shit. That fact is that men have more power in society than women do and are more likely to commit violent crimes against women than vice versa. Having experienced such violence, I don't want to hear about how, "Well, men can be victimized, too!" Go find someone else if you're looking for sympathy.
I'm admitting all of this to the interwebs because I think it may be important in order for you to understand that I'm hyper sensitive to sexual harassment.
Leering at a woman while she's in sacred space, trying to hug her (because Pagans are supposed to hug instead of shake hands, right?) just so you can feel her up, or otherwise making unwelcome advancements repeatedly is unacceptable. Being Pagan isn't an excuse to be a creeper.
While at festival, I had a merchant creep up behind me and offer to buy my underwear. I was't sure how to feel after giving it some thought, but initially I was disturbed and offended. Viscerally I was repulsed. Needless to say, I left and maintained my distance for the rest of the week. I've also had plenty of comments left on videos I've made that have been sexual in nature and otherwise off-topic and unwelcome. When I've deleted the comment and said something to the perpetrator, what I usually hear is, "It was meant to be a compliment!"
It's not a fucking compliment. It's harassment. Knock it the fuck off. You want to appreciate a woman's body from a distance and indulge in lusty fantasies on your own, fine. Go for it. Hey, I've objectified plenty of men in my day. But bringing it to her attention so explicitly is not necessarily welcome, nor should you assume that it will be.
While we're on the subject of sex and nudity, I want to say something about clothing optional, family-friendly festivals like Free Spirit Gathering (where I was this past week):
Including children is great. Encouraging children to be comfortable with nudity (both their own and others') is great. But assuming that it's always safe to do so is not okay. Yes, it's a Pagan festival. The theory is that Pagans are more honest, more open, and more ethical than the population at large. Sadly, this is not actually the case. At a festival where anyone with the money can attend and where you're not always there to monitor your child's every move, maybe it's not the greatest idea that you allow your child to run freely, and unclothed, at that. I want to trust people, I do. I want to believe that things like rape don't occur at festivals. But it does. I don't understand why people are so readily willing to risk the safety of their children for the sake of idealism.
I'll close by saying that there's nothing wrong with promiscuity (and I'm applying that term to both women and men). With regard to sex, I think whatever floats your boat (provided you're not hurting anyone else) is all good. I just think we sometimes need to be more considerate of others and keep a closer watch on our children.
Friday, June 8, 2012
B is for I can't even be fucking bothered to do this.
I've been wrestling with 'B' for the last couple of days (obviously, I'm totally disregarding the original schedule for the Pagan Blog Project and just writing whenever I damn well please). "Books" would be too obvious, and I just can't think of much else that interests me enough to write about it. As I was flipping through some other blogs participating in the Project, I saw plenty of entries on the Burning Times, which made me pissed enough that I recorded a video basically to the effect of, "The Burning Times wasn't a real thing. Shut up and get over it and read a fucking history book that wasn't written by Anne Llewellyn Barstow or Margaret Murray, for the love of all that is holy. And stop comparing the witch hunts to the Holocaust. You privileged fucks."
But that's just not very pleasant. And I'm nothing if not pleasant.
It's not even a conversation that I thought warranted more discussion. Everyone's got the Internet now, right? And access to ebooks, free online historical archives through any number of universities, online lectures, etc. There's just no excuse for that kind of ignorance anymore, right? Surely nobody's tossing around the old "nine million women burned at the stake" thing anymore.
False. In the last week, I've read this sort of horse shit in two books published since 2011. TWO FUCKING THOUSAND ELEVEN. One of these works was self-published by someone who teaches "Wicca" classes locally.
I just can't. I can't even. I have lost the ability to can.
So B is for Burning Times and bull shit and books that should never have seen a printing press. B is for booze, of which I find myself immediately in need.
But that's just not very pleasant. And I'm nothing if not pleasant.
It's not even a conversation that I thought warranted more discussion. Everyone's got the Internet now, right? And access to ebooks, free online historical archives through any number of universities, online lectures, etc. There's just no excuse for that kind of ignorance anymore, right? Surely nobody's tossing around the old "nine million women burned at the stake" thing anymore.
False. In the last week, I've read this sort of horse shit in two books published since 2011. TWO FUCKING THOUSAND ELEVEN. One of these works was self-published by someone who teaches "Wicca" classes locally.
I just can't. I can't even. I have lost the ability to can.
So B is for Burning Times and bull shit and books that should never have seen a printing press. B is for booze, of which I find myself immediately in need.
Monday, June 4, 2012
So I'm bad at blogging.
I actually write a lot more blogs than get posted, but generally after I review what I've written I throw it all out. The writing itself is what's valuable to me, rather than the finished product. Plus I really enjoy making videos. It's easier, gets more responses, and is usually a little less embarrassing months down the road. I've thought about consolidating all of my Pagan crap onto one website--the blog, Tumblr, videos, and maybe even the Etsy shop (which is just too much freakin' work to run casually)--but I think that might be more my ego talking than anything else. I'm not nearly that interesting. And (let's be real) I'd just end up ignoring it all a few weeks later anyway.
Not tons of news to report. I had circle last night and then spent today visiting with my sister and my new faux friend, the Lazy Witch. I say faux friend because I'm not on Facebook, so real friendship is impossible. We have to do banal things like use the telephone and physically hang out with each other (ugh), rather than going to the lengths of true friendship that include writing on each other's "walls" and posting updates such as, "Frozen waffles are delicious! I think I'll have some for breakfast." You're not real friends until you're Facebook friends. Everybody knows that.
In the spirit of Faux Friendship, on Thursday we took a road trip to Greensboro, NC, to visit Eclectic By Nature. Charlotte doesn't have any witch or metaphysical shops. Pretty incredible seeing as how it's one of the largest cities (if not the largest?) city in NC. In fact, Ali and myself essentially are the local Pagan community as far as I can tell. So we have to get our kicks elsewhere. I found myself a new statue of Thoth. I've got several images of him around my workspace, where he can watch me while I write, silently judging me for procrastinating, bull shitting, and researching under the influence of Jack Daniel's.
The Summer of Tarot is well underway. I'm working my way through an audio course on the Major Arcana, and it's kind of blowing my mind. Everything I know about Kabbalah I learned from Madonna and Britney Spears, so you can imagine how much of a culture shock this is. I'm constantly trying to fill in the holes in my body of magical know-how, but I'M JUST ONE PERSON GUYS OKAY. My readings have improved, though, and I've got my first gig as a Tarot reader at a benefit for Piedmont Pagan Pride Day. Please note that Oliver made it into my headshot.
I'm also now the regular Thursday host at Our Pagan Opinions, stepping in for Allison, the lovely proprietor of The Witches House.
Oh yeah! And Free Spirit Gathering is coming up! The highlight of my year. If you're going, let me know! Hawk and I will be in attendance (as usual), and I'm working to persuade Ali to come with. Pictures and video are strictly prohibited, but I promise stories.
Happy evening, everyone!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
"Dark" Witchcraft
I'm feeling tired and frazzled, but content. Conferences are always academically energizing for me. They're good for my ego, mostly, but it's also great to interact with scholars that I respect and potentially make some new friends. My paper was well-received and I feel that I responded to all of my questions very well. FSU is on my list of potential Ph.D. programs, and it was great to actually see the campus and meet some of the professors.
Not a lot going on, otherwise. I haven't posted much of substance to YouTube in the last several days. I've watched with some bewilderment as the popular topic in the community lately seems to be "dark witchcraft," whatever that is. I get where these folks are coming from, I think. What I don't understand is why there needs to be yet another label for something that I think is inherent to witchcraft already. To call rites and rituals that somehow pertain to death "dark" seems to me to place a value judgement on them and automatically draws a comparison that I don't think is helpful. I don't see why death is any "darker" than any other human experience (if you ask me, childbirth and parenthood are way scarier, and definitely grosser).
People die. People suffer. Witches sometimes talk to dead people. A lot of us collect skulls and other dead bits. Cemeteries can be powerful places. Blood can be a powerful ritual additive. Pain can be a source of power. So what? If that makes me "dark," then it's news to me. That's just part of being a witch, as far as I'm concerned.
What I will say, since I'm on the subject, is that it annoys me when these "dark witches" describe themselves in direct contrast to Wiccans, who are supposedly "focused on light, love, and the positive." Like being Wiccan is a bad thing. I can understand why someone with only a superficial understanding of Wicca--gained primarily from the Barnes & Noble "New Age" section and YouTube--would think that Wiccans are all about kittens and moonbeams (both of which are admittedly awesome), but this is simply erroneous. Wicca is fundamentally about sex and death. And lots of both. Maybe Scott Cunningham's version of Wicca doesn't include scourging, magic involving blood, or work with the dead, but that doesn't mean it isn't part of Wicca.
I think what some people are calling "dark" is really just self-awareness. To quote The Princess Bride, "Life is pain. Anyone who says different is selling something."
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Yahweh
I'm what's often called a "hard polytheist." I see the gods as distinct entities with unique personalities, preferences, and agendas. My experience has been that some gods are more human-like than others. Some have more interest in humans than others. Some have more power and influence than others. Isis is no more a reflection of Hecate than I'm a reflection of you. Maybe on some esoteric, woo woo level we're All One, but for all practical purposes I am not you and Ogun is not Herne. Furthermore, not all gods have your best interests at heart (which is why the prospect of "using a deity" is so ludicrous).
That said, Yahweh is as real to me as any of the gods and spirits that I actually serve and work with. He's real and he's a pain in my ass. I don't really get the connection between Yahweh and Jesus. They're separate, they're the same, something about also being the Holy Spirit, whatever. But the second I get involved in anything Jesus-y, Yahweh is knocking on all of my doors, trying to push his way in. Like a persistent girl scout. I HEAR YOU I JUST DON'T WANT TO ANSWER SO GO AWAY. I DON'T WANT YOUR COOKIES.
This ethnography is going to be really challenging, as I'll be having to spend more time in church and reading scripture than probably a fair number of Christians. Thankfully I'm protected from his influence by my Satanic Wiccan powers.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Just an update
Hooray for cleaning my house! Imbolc for me is all about preparing for the coming spring, and part of that involves getting rid of crap I don't need, fixing crap that's broken, cleaning everything else, and making sure that nothing in the fridge is rotting. Woo! Look for a couple of new videos on my YouTube channel (including a giveaway), as well.
Not much to report otherwise. My goal this year was to make time for myself and my individual Craft studies alongside of school. I'm making an effort to journal every day, read non-school books, and make time for solitary ritual. I have to remind myself that I'm an infinitely happier person when I do these things, but it's still difficult. I think this is something that a lot of people struggle with, particularly when they're new to witchcraft. Over the years, I've figured out that for me the key really is working to live mindfully and make each act magical in and of itself. There will never be a point where "life settles down" and suddenly there's time to be Wiccan. Most people don't speak so explicitly, but that seems to be the implication when folks say things like, "I don't have time to practice." What does that even mean? Like we're talking about committing to a sports team or something. Wicca is about all of that other life stuff, too. It's about cleaning your house, taking care of your family, choosing what to eat, who you have relationships with, and making career decisions. It encompasses everything. Of course it doesn't tell you exactly how to do any of those things, but practicing Wicca fundamentally affects who you are, and thus every other decision you make. At least, that's been my experience. I realize it isn't like that for some people.
Anyway, I should be telling myself this. I'm going to go finish my laundry and go to the grocery store now.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Wiccan roller derby names
For those who don't know, derby skaters play under other names. It's actually remarkably similar to the concept of a magical name: it's designed to both protect your mundane identity as well as represent qualities or attitudes that are either already part of your personality or that you'd like to embody. Usually girls come up with puns on famous female names, coupled with terms related to the derby girl virtues of toughness and fearlessness, or somehow related to their own unique personalities (e.g. Babe Ruthless, Joan of Snark, Celia Fate, Eris Discordia, Anita Beer, etc.) The key is that it needs to be unique. A master list is maintained throughout Derbyville and no two girls can have the same or even similar names. Well, It's time for me to start thinking of potential names, and I think it would be fun to have one that reflects my work with the occult (I can always attribute it to my profession rather than religious affiliation). Are you ready for this much awesome? I could hardly stop squealing after coming up with this one:
Doreen Violente
Too bad no one would get it. How many Gardnerian roller girls do you think there are in the world? Answer: one. BUT COME ON. It's brilliant. And after spending a day trying to pun on "Aleister Crowley"? Brilliant.
I'm also considering Ava de Kedavra. I thought it was fantastic, but my teammates tell me no one will get it. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?! I thought it was perfectly obvious, but no one's gotten it yet. If you do, comment and tell me so we can start our future together as BFFs.
Doreen Violente
Too bad no one would get it. How many Gardnerian roller girls do you think there are in the world? Answer: one. BUT COME ON. It's brilliant. And after spending a day trying to pun on "Aleister Crowley"? Brilliant.
I'm also considering Ava de Kedavra. I thought it was fantastic, but my teammates tell me no one will get it. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?! I thought it was perfectly obvious, but no one's gotten it yet. If you do, comment and tell me so we can start our future together as BFFs.
EDIT:
I just came up with another one: Dion Misfortune. AHHHH I'M SO BRILLIANT.
EDIT:
Dorothy Clusterfuck
Aleister Brawley (#777)
Sybil Freak
Patricia Crowbar
WHAT IF ALL OF THESE PEOPLE WERE REAL AND PLAYED ON THE SAME TEAM.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
It's raining and I'm procrastinating.
It's a rainy day here in Charlotte, and I'm sequestered at a coffee shop revising the paper I'm presenting at Florida State next month. I've been putting this off pretty much all month and last, but I just couldn't bring myself to bury myself in yet more work over the break. I though I'd, you know, actually take a break. Maybe that wasn't the best idea, academically speaking, but I'm certainly a lot happier for it.
I feel weird about this paper, which I've titled "Middle-Class Vodou: Spirit Possession and Marginality in the United States." Weird because I'm analyzing the work of authors that I've met personally and respect (Kenaz Filan and Raven Kaldera, namely), and because I'm both a believer and a practitioner of spirit possession. It's a lot easier to conduct research if you don't actually have any emotional investment in your subject. I'm writing in defense of I.M. Lewis, who basically argues that spirit possession is related to disenfranchisement and marginality, which makes me uncomfortable because I'm not really convinced that he's right. The paper is an exploration, in which I attempt to examine his theories in light of contemporary works on spirit possession by practitioners.
It's pretty sweet that my paper was accepted at this symposium and that my department is helping to pay my way, but frankly I'm way too ignorant to be getting up there and being all, "LET ME TELL YOU PEOPLE ABOUT SPIRITS." I console my nerves by reminding myself that at least I'm sympathetic to my subject, which is more than most academics. I just want to stay away from evaluating Neo-Pagan and contemporary magical communities in the future, because I don't think there's a good way to fairly represent both of my communities--the scholarly and the magical--at the same time. At least, I haven't found it. And I haven't read any other pagan scholars who have either, at least not yet. You either come off sounding like a turncoat or like an idiot.
Mostly, I just need this to go well so that my future in the Academy is a little more solid. My advisor told me to think of this as a job interview with FSU, University of Florida, and any of the Tennessee schools that may be represented. As terrible as it would be to have to move to Florida, it would be great to be on good terms with potential program advisors and directors.
I'm trying to be better about being more balanced this semester. Usually, I'm all about school all the time, which leads to things like forgetting to eat, not having friends, and never leaving the house. With roller derby and my commitments to my coven and my health (I'm trying this new thing where I work out outside of derby practices and eat periodically), I'm forcing myself to be more well-rounded. I'm one of those people that likes tightly-ordered schedules and organized plans, so getting myself into a routine is a helpful thing. I've also joined a new dance studio, so that should be a nice compliment to derby. I'm also on the my league's marketing committee, so I've for plenty to do aside from school. I've even scheduled time for journaling and reading non-school books. It probably sounds restrictive to some of you, but my psyche breaks down if I don't have a lot going on in an ordered way. Think Hermione Granger, only not as smart and on lots of drugs.
Ugh. Back to this paper. For real now.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
I'm not dead!
Check it out, guys. School ate my life, and then I disappeared (just like I said I would), and then I spent more time on YouTube, and then my car broke down and I had to take it in for what amounts to car reconstructive surgery, and now here I am in the mechanic's waiting room drinking bad coffee and updating my blog. Lucky you.
Jeez, where do I even start? Well, I think some of you (the three of you) know me from YouTube, and you can see that I still post videos. I haven't had lots of time to write since beginning grad school. I ended up taking the offer from UNC-Charlotte. Not a well-established program--no one's going to raise their eyebrows and go, "Oh, you went to Charlotte!" unless they're native or being ironic--but one that I feel is up and coming. My professors are fantastic and I'm a great fit for the program, and that's really the best reason to select a school. Charlotte had the most to offer me and was willing to grant me the most freedom to pursue my own interests. Plus I have the best advisor I could have hoped for.
The downside, obviously, is that I have to live in Charlotte. People who are from Charlotte love it. Most folks who are born here don't leave. It's not like Raleigh, where practically everyone is a transplant. Consequently, people from Charlotte have no basis for comparison. So when they say things like, "Oh! Charlotte is so much fun! There's so much to do!" it's because they've never actually experienced real fun and their idea of "so much to do" consists of watching NASCAR, talking about football, and not reading or creating art. Does "reinforcing the status quo" count as a hobby? Because that's where Charlotte is a viking. I know I sound like an asshole right now, but you've got to remember: I'm from DC. I've been spoiled by free museums, independent bookstores, and one of the best public transport systems in the country. In the first week that I moved to Charlotte, I got a flat tire. I pulled off the road and, as I was changing said tire, a pick-up truck full of hillbilly men wearin' huntin' camo and fish hooks on their caps pulled up behind me and catcalled me while I was tending to my car. WTF, Charlotte. That incident has pretty much characterized my life here so far.
Not to say that there haven't been plenty of bright spots. Charlotte does have roller derby, after all. And pole dancing. And I love my program. I even got trick-or-treaters at Halloween, which is something that never happened in Raleigh. I'm also much closer to my coven, which is a huge perk. My travel time has been cut in half, and I've even got a covenmate here in town (great when your car breaks down).
Weirdly, Charlotte seems to have no pagan scene at all. AT ALL. There's some sort of Wiccan church a few dozen miles outside of town, but their Witchvox postings make them sound pretty terrible, and I've got problems with the whole "Wiccan church" thing anyway. You can call it whatever you want, but as far as I'm concerned, if you feel that what you're doing warrants terms like "church" and "congregation" then you and I probably aren't practicing the same religion or worshipping the same gods.
There are also no occult or New Age bookstores (no bookstores at all, really). There are New Agey gift shops where you can buy quartz necklaces and copies of The Power of Now, but no actual bookstores. This I don't understand, given how large Charlotte is.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll make the effort to update with some frequency, but you can always find me on YouTube.
Jeez, where do I even start? Well, I think some of you (the three of you) know me from YouTube, and you can see that I still post videos. I haven't had lots of time to write since beginning grad school. I ended up taking the offer from UNC-Charlotte. Not a well-established program--no one's going to raise their eyebrows and go, "Oh, you went to Charlotte!" unless they're native or being ironic--but one that I feel is up and coming. My professors are fantastic and I'm a great fit for the program, and that's really the best reason to select a school. Charlotte had the most to offer me and was willing to grant me the most freedom to pursue my own interests. Plus I have the best advisor I could have hoped for.
The downside, obviously, is that I have to live in Charlotte. People who are from Charlotte love it. Most folks who are born here don't leave. It's not like Raleigh, where practically everyone is a transplant. Consequently, people from Charlotte have no basis for comparison. So when they say things like, "Oh! Charlotte is so much fun! There's so much to do!" it's because they've never actually experienced real fun and their idea of "so much to do" consists of watching NASCAR, talking about football, and not reading or creating art. Does "reinforcing the status quo" count as a hobby? Because that's where Charlotte is a viking. I know I sound like an asshole right now, but you've got to remember: I'm from DC. I've been spoiled by free museums, independent bookstores, and one of the best public transport systems in the country. In the first week that I moved to Charlotte, I got a flat tire. I pulled off the road and, as I was changing said tire, a pick-up truck full of hillbilly men wearin' huntin' camo and fish hooks on their caps pulled up behind me and catcalled me while I was tending to my car. WTF, Charlotte. That incident has pretty much characterized my life here so far.
Not to say that there haven't been plenty of bright spots. Charlotte does have roller derby, after all. And pole dancing. And I love my program. I even got trick-or-treaters at Halloween, which is something that never happened in Raleigh. I'm also much closer to my coven, which is a huge perk. My travel time has been cut in half, and I've even got a covenmate here in town (great when your car breaks down).
Weirdly, Charlotte seems to have no pagan scene at all. AT ALL. There's some sort of Wiccan church a few dozen miles outside of town, but their Witchvox postings make them sound pretty terrible, and I've got problems with the whole "Wiccan church" thing anyway. You can call it whatever you want, but as far as I'm concerned, if you feel that what you're doing warrants terms like "church" and "congregation" then you and I probably aren't practicing the same religion or worshipping the same gods.
There are also no occult or New Age bookstores (no bookstores at all, really). There are New Agey gift shops where you can buy quartz necklaces and copies of The Power of Now, but no actual bookstores. This I don't understand, given how large Charlotte is.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll make the effort to update with some frequency, but you can always find me on YouTube.
Friday, February 25, 2011
In which I whine about the local Pagan meetup group
I'm feeling a little miffed after my first "witches meetup" here in town. There were about fifteen or so people there, and everyone was really nice, but I definitely felt like an outsider. It was clear that everyone in attendance was part of a more closely knit group and the conversation rarely strayed from business related to the running of their own group and its events or inside jokes passed between members. My friend Hawk came with me, and she ran into someone she knew from work. We spent the first five minutes in the room fending off her shocked questions. Hawk is very private, and apparently the fact that she'd never shared her religious affiliation with folks at work warranted comments like, "Since when are YOU Pagan?" and, repeatedly, "Really? Really?" The best was, by far, "But I've never seen you guys at [local open circles hosted by aforementioned group]." Like somehow that has any effect on whether or not we're Pagan.
The general sentiment of the meeting seemed to be that because Hawk and I aren't members of this group and aren't vocal about our practices, we somehow are less Pagan or needed basic things explained to us. I don't think these folks would agree with my assessment, but I found myself resenting them for treating Hawk and I like we didn't know anything. If I asked someone a quick question about their tradition, I got an explanation about how "Neo-Paganism is made up of a lot of different traditions...blah, blah, blah." I found myself saying things like, "Yeah, I know. But what I was asking was specifically..." People just kept assuming that I was some sort of noob just because I'd never been to the meetup.
Very frustrating. I definitely won't be going back, and have totally been turned off about this particular group.
Nevermind the girl who told me that she was "formally trained in a coven based on eclectic and Gardnerian Craft."
Uh...huh? *facepalm*
When I asked her to elaborate she started trying to give me an irrelevant history of Wicca in the U.S. that I think she needed way more than I did.
And then it turned into light Satanist and atheist bashing (always followed closely with whining about how nobody is accepting of Pagans and woe is us).
When the local Pagan Pride Day came up in conversation, I mentioned that I'd never been because it usually falls on or near the equinox. It went like this:
Me: "Yeah, I'd like to go, but I never can because it usually falls on Mabon."
Her: "So why can't you come?"
Me: "Uh, because I'm circling for Mabon."
Duh.
Anyway, that's enough whining on my end. I just left feeling really grateful to already be a part of a group, and especially a closeted one. More and more I understand my HP, who refuses to socialize with other Pagans at all.
The general sentiment of the meeting seemed to be that because Hawk and I aren't members of this group and aren't vocal about our practices, we somehow are less Pagan or needed basic things explained to us. I don't think these folks would agree with my assessment, but I found myself resenting them for treating Hawk and I like we didn't know anything. If I asked someone a quick question about their tradition, I got an explanation about how "Neo-Paganism is made up of a lot of different traditions...blah, blah, blah." I found myself saying things like, "Yeah, I know. But what I was asking was specifically..." People just kept assuming that I was some sort of noob just because I'd never been to the meetup.
Very frustrating. I definitely won't be going back, and have totally been turned off about this particular group.
Nevermind the girl who told me that she was "formally trained in a coven based on eclectic and Gardnerian Craft."
Uh...huh? *facepalm*
When I asked her to elaborate she started trying to give me an irrelevant history of Wicca in the U.S. that I think she needed way more than I did.
And then it turned into light Satanist and atheist bashing (always followed closely with whining about how nobody is accepting of Pagans and woe is us).
When the local Pagan Pride Day came up in conversation, I mentioned that I'd never been because it usually falls on or near the equinox. It went like this:
Me: "Yeah, I'd like to go, but I never can because it usually falls on Mabon."
Her: "So why can't you come?"
Me: "Uh, because I'm circling for Mabon."
Duh.
Anyway, that's enough whining on my end. I just left feeling really grateful to already be a part of a group, and especially a closeted one. More and more I understand my HP, who refuses to socialize with other Pagans at all.
Friday, February 18, 2011
So I just saw my first episode of Charmed...
...and Buffy the Vampire Slayer it is not. I do love how it uses that Love Spit Love cover for its theme, though. It doesn't even make sense taken out of context and is so clearly only there because it was the theme from The Craft just a couple of years earlier. So subtle.
But at least I now know where a lot of the dumb stuff I keep seeing around the Community comes from (including the aforementioned mispronunciation of the word "sabbat").
There's actually been a lot going on recently. I'm in my finally year of undergrad (again) and will officially be starting the MA in the fall. I'm still waiting to hear back from a couple of the programs I applied to, but I already got the one I want. If X Ivy League gives me money I'll have to give them serious consideration, but I seriously doubt that will happen. And I wouldn't be a good fit there, anyway. The school I've picked is not only a top program with a high placement record, but it's even closer to my coven than I already am. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that if I'm going to specialize in modern witchcraft, I need to be in an area where I'm close to both Family and a wider Community.
I registered for Free Spirit Gathering earlier this week, which is the highlight of my year. If you ever get the opportunity to attend a week-long festival (especially this one), I recommend that you do so.
I've been making an effort recently to be more social and establish some sort of niche in the Community in my town. I've spent the last several years avoiding them, but I don't want to be so narrow anymore. My group is so insular (and we're all very, very closeted as a group) it would be easy to just melt into the background. As it is, I go to open rituals and other events and people are already suspicious of me because of my career choice. Not to mention the other things about me that seem to mark me as "other" amongst Neo-Pagans: my hatred of all things child and marriage-related, my refusal to use terms like "Earth Mother" or pretend that my period is anything other than a nuisance, my disbelief in karma (a term that practically everyone misuses anyway), and my hostility toward the New Age. Yeah, I fit right in. But I digress. In short, I'm just trying to get out more. I connected with my coven in a roundabout sort of way that involved me taking a chance and diving into the sea of idiots in my local Community. There's always the chance I could find others of like mind and learn something.
So I've joined a local gathering of tarot readers, which has already been very profitable. I've been reading cards for a while, but I've already learned so much more just by hanging out with more experienced readers. At Imbolc, I committed myself to deepening my relationship with the cards and spending the year learning as much as I can. My deck collection has grown quite a bit recently, too. I finally got a copy of the Chinese Tarot, which has been out of print for a while. In the process of looking, I also found that some of my decks have become quite sought after in the last few years (not that I would sell them, but it's good to know). I've also recently acquired a new Thoth deck (my first one was given to me by the brother of a girl who died of a drug overdose, which makes me feel weird using it even if I do appreciate the irony), the Druidcraft Tarot, and a few others. Unlike some of my fellows, I don't have any trouble reading with used decks (even the old Thoth deck is a problem more because of him than her), so I usually have more options when it comes to deck selection. The old standby remain the Universal Waite, though.
One of the women in the group is offering a workshop on advanced reading and I thought I may sign up for it. My general policy has always been that I don't pay for things like that, but after having met her and seeing that she's legit, I may give it a go.
But at least I now know where a lot of the dumb stuff I keep seeing around the Community comes from (including the aforementioned mispronunciation of the word "sabbat").
There's actually been a lot going on recently. I'm in my finally year of undergrad (again) and will officially be starting the MA in the fall. I'm still waiting to hear back from a couple of the programs I applied to, but I already got the one I want. If X Ivy League gives me money I'll have to give them serious consideration, but I seriously doubt that will happen. And I wouldn't be a good fit there, anyway. The school I've picked is not only a top program with a high placement record, but it's even closer to my coven than I already am. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that if I'm going to specialize in modern witchcraft, I need to be in an area where I'm close to both Family and a wider Community.
I registered for Free Spirit Gathering earlier this week, which is the highlight of my year. If you ever get the opportunity to attend a week-long festival (especially this one), I recommend that you do so.
I've been making an effort recently to be more social and establish some sort of niche in the Community in my town. I've spent the last several years avoiding them, but I don't want to be so narrow anymore. My group is so insular (and we're all very, very closeted as a group) it would be easy to just melt into the background. As it is, I go to open rituals and other events and people are already suspicious of me because of my career choice. Not to mention the other things about me that seem to mark me as "other" amongst Neo-Pagans: my hatred of all things child and marriage-related, my refusal to use terms like "Earth Mother" or pretend that my period is anything other than a nuisance, my disbelief in karma (a term that practically everyone misuses anyway), and my hostility toward the New Age. Yeah, I fit right in. But I digress. In short, I'm just trying to get out more. I connected with my coven in a roundabout sort of way that involved me taking a chance and diving into the sea of idiots in my local Community. There's always the chance I could find others of like mind and learn something.
So I've joined a local gathering of tarot readers, which has already been very profitable. I've been reading cards for a while, but I've already learned so much more just by hanging out with more experienced readers. At Imbolc, I committed myself to deepening my relationship with the cards and spending the year learning as much as I can. My deck collection has grown quite a bit recently, too. I finally got a copy of the Chinese Tarot, which has been out of print for a while. In the process of looking, I also found that some of my decks have become quite sought after in the last few years (not that I would sell them, but it's good to know). I've also recently acquired a new Thoth deck (my first one was given to me by the brother of a girl who died of a drug overdose, which makes me feel weird using it even if I do appreciate the irony), the Druidcraft Tarot, and a few others. Unlike some of my fellows, I don't have any trouble reading with used decks (even the old Thoth deck is a problem more because of him than her), so I usually have more options when it comes to deck selection. The old standby remain the Universal Waite, though.
One of the women in the group is offering a workshop on advanced reading and I thought I may sign up for it. My general policy has always been that I don't pay for things like that, but after having met her and seeing that she's legit, I may give it a go.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Speak ye little, listen much
As some of you know, I come in and out of Blogger and YouTube. I'll post a lot for a while, then disappear, and sometimes delete my accounts altogether - only to start over a few months later. The root of this behavior is a personal discomfort with making a private matter like spirituality open to discussion on a public forum. Sure, we're all here to learn and meet others, but there's also a certain degree of vanity involved. You have to be at least a little narcissistic to keep a public blog or vlog. If you weren't, you'd be content to share in more private ways, or not share at all.
But there's something gratifying about putting our ideas and experiences on the internet and getting input from others, perhaps even garnering some sort of following, be in through subscribers, questions from newbs in your inbox, or whatever. Increasingly on YouTube, I'm seeing people who are setting themselves up as teachers of Wicca. I don't mean the people who post the occasional book recommendation or incense recipe. I'm talking about the folks who consistently post "how to" videos on working spells, conducting ritual, or long "educational" videos on things like traditions, correspondences, etc. It's not the genre itself that I have a problem with. While I admit to finding the whole thing unpalatable myself, I get that some people's only resource is the internet and these videos may fill a specific need.
What I have a problem with is that most of the people making such videos have no qualifications whatsoever. A lot of them are themselves beginners. This isn't me going, "Hey! These people are new and aren't teaching Wicca the One Right Way!" Rather, I'm saying that there seems to be a stigma attached to being a beginner. People get into Wicca, set up a YouTube channel, and immediately start putting out information from whatever book they've just read. They try to set themselves up as authorities right away.
Why can't we all just be okay with where we are on our own paths? Why do so many people insist on declaring themselves "teachers"? This to me is the ultimate vanity in the Community, both online and off. It happens at open rituals and festivals too, but it's all over the internet. It's like everyone wants to be a Witch (and a High Priest/ess, no less), but no one wants to do the real work that that entails, or even figure out what that means. Everyone wants adoring students, but no one wants to take the responsibilities that having real students entails or do the personal work required to even be qualified.
So I just wanted to make this post to say that it's okay to be where you are. /rant
But there's something gratifying about putting our ideas and experiences on the internet and getting input from others, perhaps even garnering some sort of following, be in through subscribers, questions from newbs in your inbox, or whatever. Increasingly on YouTube, I'm seeing people who are setting themselves up as teachers of Wicca. I don't mean the people who post the occasional book recommendation or incense recipe. I'm talking about the folks who consistently post "how to" videos on working spells, conducting ritual, or long "educational" videos on things like traditions, correspondences, etc. It's not the genre itself that I have a problem with. While I admit to finding the whole thing unpalatable myself, I get that some people's only resource is the internet and these videos may fill a specific need.
What I have a problem with is that most of the people making such videos have no qualifications whatsoever. A lot of them are themselves beginners. This isn't me going, "Hey! These people are new and aren't teaching Wicca the One Right Way!" Rather, I'm saying that there seems to be a stigma attached to being a beginner. People get into Wicca, set up a YouTube channel, and immediately start putting out information from whatever book they've just read. They try to set themselves up as authorities right away.
Why can't we all just be okay with where we are on our own paths? Why do so many people insist on declaring themselves "teachers"? This to me is the ultimate vanity in the Community, both online and off. It happens at open rituals and festivals too, but it's all over the internet. It's like everyone wants to be a Witch (and a High Priest/ess, no less), but no one wants to do the real work that that entails, or even figure out what that means. Everyone wants adoring students, but no one wants to take the responsibilities that having real students entails or do the personal work required to even be qualified.
So I just wanted to make this post to say that it's okay to be where you are. /rant
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sa-bought
I don't mean this as any sort of criticism, I just find it hilarious and felt compelled to say something. Those of you with any insight, please fill me in:
Why are people on YouTube suddenly pronouncing the word "sabbat" like it's "sa-bought"? With the emphasis on the second syllable and the "aww" on the vowel? Sabaaaawt... It makes me giggle almost as much as my neighbor's Southern-isms ("Whut th' hayell..."). I noticed it first on one person's account, and then I started hearing it from every other person. What's funny is that some people pronounce the word one way in early videos and then change in later videos. So who started this really weird and amusing trend? Did TipToeChick or one of YouTube's other BNPs say it this way?
I don't think pronunciation matters all that much, but I will say that I have never ever in my life heard any Wiccan or Pagan outside of YouTube pronounce it this way. Never once, and I've met hundreds of Pagans in all sorts of settings.
Just an observation. As you were.
Why are people on YouTube suddenly pronouncing the word "sabbat" like it's "sa-bought"? With the emphasis on the second syllable and the "aww" on the vowel? Sabaaaawt... It makes me giggle almost as much as my neighbor's Southern-isms ("Whut th' hayell..."). I noticed it first on one person's account, and then I started hearing it from every other person. What's funny is that some people pronounce the word one way in early videos and then change in later videos. So who started this really weird and amusing trend? Did TipToeChick or one of YouTube's other BNPs say it this way?
I don't think pronunciation matters all that much, but I will say that I have never ever in my life heard any Wiccan or Pagan outside of YouTube pronounce it this way. Never once, and I've met hundreds of Pagans in all sorts of settings.
Just an observation. As you were.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!
It's been a while. A lot has changed. It seems like I say those things every time I sit down to write something. In the last few days I've posted several new videos to YouTube (user name DrawkingKenaz) for those of you who follow them. But this has been a pretty hellish semester, so I haven't done much writing. Grad school applications are finished! Now I just sit around and wait.
The most major thing that's changed for me is I'm once again a member of a coven. This second go around has been completely different, though. I finally feel at home. I'm older, I've experienced more, and I have a much better sense of who I am. I feel really lucky. I'm also coming out of a pretty significant period of depression, so my solitary practice has been kicked up a notch. It feels good to finally be circling regularly again. It's weird how the things that make me the happiest are the things that often go first when I get in a bad head space.
One of my resolutions for the year is to write more, so I'm going to be around this thing more frequently. Hope you all had a good first day of 2011!
The most major thing that's changed for me is I'm once again a member of a coven. This second go around has been completely different, though. I finally feel at home. I'm older, I've experienced more, and I have a much better sense of who I am. I feel really lucky. I'm also coming out of a pretty significant period of depression, so my solitary practice has been kicked up a notch. It feels good to finally be circling regularly again. It's weird how the things that make me the happiest are the things that often go first when I get in a bad head space.
One of my resolutions for the year is to write more, so I'm going to be around this thing more frequently. Hope you all had a good first day of 2011!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Coming home
I'm back home and getting settled. I'm more or less over the jet lag and am now trying to get back in the swing of things here in Raleigh. It's been more difficult than I thought it would just because right away there's so much to do. Get bills paid up, dust, weed (the garden is a mess, though the plants are all quite happy), beg for my job back, catch up with friends, etc. etc. Oh yeah, and persuade my cat to start speaking to me again. He spent the month living with a friend and was Not Happy With Me upon his return.
Tonight I've got a phone date with E, the HPS of the coven I'm interviewing with. I'm pretty excited about it and hope that my old cell phone won't crap out on me halfway through. I'm having my usual misgivings. On the one hand, I think I'm ready for taking another stab at group work. I don't think I'm meant to be solitary. On the other, school eats my life. Being in a coven brings a lot of responsibility and it can be a big time commitment if you're having to travel to circles. "I have a lot of homework tonight" doesn't really fly as an excuse. Not that I can't be committed or I'm planning on being a flake, but everyone's got a life that gets in the way sometimes. In the fall, I have to start sending out applications and bracing myself for rejection, and I don't know how smart I'm being taking on coven responsibilities at the same time. But, again, life is always going to get in the way and at some point we have to just suck it up and either do what we want or not. This is what I want. I just have to be really disciplined.
Part of this is me freaking out about school. Again. Still. It never ends. The goal is to stay in Raleigh. That leaves me with exactly two school choices, one of which isn't exactly ideal (Duke) and the other which will most likely reject me (Chapel Hill). I'm applying out of state, too (so far Indiana and Columbia...more to come), but honestly I haven't formulated much of an opinion on any other schools. SOMEONE TAKE ME PLEASE.
Tonight I've got a phone date with E, the HPS of the coven I'm interviewing with. I'm pretty excited about it and hope that my old cell phone won't crap out on me halfway through. I'm having my usual misgivings. On the one hand, I think I'm ready for taking another stab at group work. I don't think I'm meant to be solitary. On the other, school eats my life. Being in a coven brings a lot of responsibility and it can be a big time commitment if you're having to travel to circles. "I have a lot of homework tonight" doesn't really fly as an excuse. Not that I can't be committed or I'm planning on being a flake, but everyone's got a life that gets in the way sometimes. In the fall, I have to start sending out applications and bracing myself for rejection, and I don't know how smart I'm being taking on coven responsibilities at the same time. But, again, life is always going to get in the way and at some point we have to just suck it up and either do what we want or not. This is what I want. I just have to be really disciplined.
Part of this is me freaking out about school. Again. Still. It never ends. The goal is to stay in Raleigh. That leaves me with exactly two school choices, one of which isn't exactly ideal (Duke) and the other which will most likely reject me (Chapel Hill). I'm applying out of state, too (so far Indiana and Columbia...more to come), but honestly I haven't formulated much of an opinion on any other schools. SOMEONE TAKE ME PLEASE.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Not so awesome books
Obviously, since I ignored this blog for more than year, I haven't written about books in FOREVER. Books are kind of a big deal for me. My obsession with books has actually strained my relationships with people in the past, but it's not something I'm looking to curtail. I'm basically a professional student, after all, and (an assortment of gods willing) on my way to PhD-dom. Books are pretty much what I do.
When it comes to Craft books, I'm both a collector and a snob. I like to keep copies of what I read and I'm willing to read most anything as long as it says something new (even if it's wrong). I conduct all of my Amazon searches by publication date and often pre-order Craft-related titles if they look interesting (yeah, yeah, I know...shop locally, support Pagan-run shops. But the fact is, for the volume that I read, it just doesn't make sense to constantly be placing special orders and then waiting forever to receive them. And paying more. Nevermind the low quality of the one Pagan store in my city). There are several used bookshops in my area and they know me at almost all them because I regularly clean out the occult section of anything worthwhile (which, admittedly, isn't usually very much). I've been at this for something like ten years. All this to say that I have a lot of books. When I get home, I'll post a picture of some of my shelves. It's absurd.
The snobbery comes when I'm asked for recommendations. I've already posted about my favorites, and that all still holds true for me, so I thought maybe I could post my thoughts on some of the usuals suggested by others. This isn't a list of "books I hate" by any means, just commentary on the stuff that's typically recommended. Like last time, the pictures are links to Amazon's description page.
Okay, so everyone reads Scott Cunningham (terrible new cover art aside). This was one of the first books I read and I remember thinking it was pretty good (though not nearly as much fun as Silver RavenWolf). Reading it again, I still think it's pretty decent in some respects, though I would now say that it must be considered within its context and supplemented with additional reading. I don't see much of a place for Cunningham outside of considering him for the sake of history. For better or worse, he was (and continues to be) extremely influential. But there are much better books for the solitary available now (see my first books post). I also wish that I knew something more about Cunningham's lineage. Does he even have a lineage?
Looking back on this book, I can see why it appealed to (Willow)Thorn circa 1998. It was shiny, fun to read, and promised STUFF. One of the early chapters is on "stocking your magickal cabinet." In fact, there's not a lot of genuine religion (whether Wicca or not) in this book at all. It's mostly about the paraphernalia that can go along with it (correspondences, tools, herbs, stones, tips on making purchases and making things, etc.). People tend to like stuff, and this book condones a certain degree of materialism. I'm not exactly condemning it for that (I'm the one who chooses books over people, after all), but it does put it several miles away from my list of recommended reading. I also crack up every time I read the infamous athame line (in my copy it's on page 92, but I don't know where it is in the new one): (paraphrasing from memory) "The athame stands for reasoning and the intellect. I don't use mine very often." We all know what she meant, but it's still hilarious. I don't feel that it's necessary for me to comment much further on RavenWolf (using Wicca and witchcraft interchangeably, being deliberately vague on her training, maligning other traditions, etc. etc.), because a million people already have, and in much better ways than I ever could.
I don't have tons to say about Teen Witch that hasn't already been said. Honestly, I don't think it's the worst thing she's ever written, and I figure that if I could read a book like this when I was 13 and still turn out Trad, it can't be All That Horrible. I think we should collectively give teenagers more credit in their ability to be discerning. I will say, though, that Llewellyn should definitely bring back the original (hysterical) cover art. Ditto for To Ride a Silver Bromstick, which had the world's best artwork, inside and out. EVER.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling anyone not to read anything. I'm not condemning authors or publishers. These are just my current thoughts (minimal and not-so-profound as they are) on these particular books. Pretty much every YouTube Wiccan has a video singing the praises of these books and I just happen to disagree. No big.
Sidenote: In setting up the links to Amazon, I saw that Silver RavenWolf's Teen Witch Kit is going for between $60 (used) and $300 (new). INSANE. But suddenly I'm really excited to own one. I mean, more excited.
Further sidenote: Just in case people are curious (and you've seriously not yet encountered the big to do that surrounds Silver RavenWolf), here are links to an assortment of articles. This isn't me saying that I necessarily agree with 100% of what's here, it's just for your consideration:
Wicca For the Rest of Us: Why We Despise Silver RavenWolf
Wicca Explained: The Status of Silver RavenWolf
When it comes to Craft books, I'm both a collector and a snob. I like to keep copies of what I read and I'm willing to read most anything as long as it says something new (even if it's wrong). I conduct all of my Amazon searches by publication date and often pre-order Craft-related titles if they look interesting (yeah, yeah, I know...shop locally, support Pagan-run shops. But the fact is, for the volume that I read, it just doesn't make sense to constantly be placing special orders and then waiting forever to receive them. And paying more. Nevermind the low quality of the one Pagan store in my city). There are several used bookshops in my area and they know me at almost all them because I regularly clean out the occult section of anything worthwhile (which, admittedly, isn't usually very much). I've been at this for something like ten years. All this to say that I have a lot of books. When I get home, I'll post a picture of some of my shelves. It's absurd.
The snobbery comes when I'm asked for recommendations. I've already posted about my favorites, and that all still holds true for me, so I thought maybe I could post my thoughts on some of the usuals suggested by others. This isn't a list of "books I hate" by any means, just commentary on the stuff that's typically recommended. Like last time, the pictures are links to Amazon's description page.
Okay, so everyone reads Scott Cunningham (terrible new cover art aside). This was one of the first books I read and I remember thinking it was pretty good (though not nearly as much fun as Silver RavenWolf). Reading it again, I still think it's pretty decent in some respects, though I would now say that it must be considered within its context and supplemented with additional reading. I don't see much of a place for Cunningham outside of considering him for the sake of history. For better or worse, he was (and continues to be) extremely influential. But there are much better books for the solitary available now (see my first books post). I also wish that I knew something more about Cunningham's lineage. Does he even have a lineage?
Looking back on this book, I can see why it appealed to (Willow)Thorn circa 1998. It was shiny, fun to read, and promised STUFF. One of the early chapters is on "stocking your magickal cabinet." In fact, there's not a lot of genuine religion (whether Wicca or not) in this book at all. It's mostly about the paraphernalia that can go along with it (correspondences, tools, herbs, stones, tips on making purchases and making things, etc.). People tend to like stuff, and this book condones a certain degree of materialism. I'm not exactly condemning it for that (I'm the one who chooses books over people, after all), but it does put it several miles away from my list of recommended reading. I also crack up every time I read the infamous athame line (in my copy it's on page 92, but I don't know where it is in the new one): (paraphrasing from memory) "The athame stands for reasoning and the intellect. I don't use mine very often." We all know what she meant, but it's still hilarious. I don't feel that it's necessary for me to comment much further on RavenWolf (using Wicca and witchcraft interchangeably, being deliberately vague on her training, maligning other traditions, etc. etc.), because a million people already have, and in much better ways than I ever could.
I don't have tons to say about Teen Witch that hasn't already been said. Honestly, I don't think it's the worst thing she's ever written, and I figure that if I could read a book like this when I was 13 and still turn out Trad, it can't be All That Horrible. I think we should collectively give teenagers more credit in their ability to be discerning. I will say, though, that Llewellyn should definitely bring back the original (hysterical) cover art. Ditto for To Ride a Silver Bromstick, which had the world's best artwork, inside and out. EVER.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling anyone not to read anything. I'm not condemning authors or publishers. These are just my current thoughts (minimal and not-so-profound as they are) on these particular books. Pretty much every YouTube Wiccan has a video singing the praises of these books and I just happen to disagree. No big.
Sidenote: In setting up the links to Amazon, I saw that Silver RavenWolf's Teen Witch Kit is going for between $60 (used) and $300 (new). INSANE. But suddenly I'm really excited to own one. I mean, more excited.
Further sidenote: Just in case people are curious (and you've seriously not yet encountered the big to do that surrounds Silver RavenWolf), here are links to an assortment of articles. This isn't me saying that I necessarily agree with 100% of what's here, it's just for your consideration:
Wicca For the Rest of Us: Why We Despise Silver RavenWolf
Wicca Explained: The Status of Silver RavenWolf
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Interviewing for a coven and reflections on the past
So for the last month I've been in Paris for school. This past week I finished my program, and now I'm just here for another week to actually enjoy the city sans homework. My parents arrived two days ago to accompany me. Suddenly the trip has an entirely different atmosphere, as my father is Very Very American. He's appalled at the absence of ice in drinks, air conditioning, and spacious bathrooms. I think I actually heard him threaten someone at the Louvre yesterday.
Anyway, that's not what I'm here to write about.
I'm writing because for the last two weeks I've been e-mail interviewing with a coven and I've made it to stage two: the phone call. Obviously, that has to wait until I get back, but I'm really excited about it. Mostly I've been e-mailing with the group's HP, but it was the HPS who sent me the last e-mail, saying she'd like to continue the discussion via the telephone. I think if I hadn't done this once before already I'd be scared out of my mind. Now, I figure they'll either be a match or they won't. If they're not, I'll keep seeking. I was really hoping to find a coven within this particular tradition (which I won't name out of respect for the group and for the sake of my own privacy) and I'm pleased to have finally done so.
This particular group is very much in the broom closet, which actually pleases me quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm personally very open about being Wiccan, but I'd rather be a part of a group that wasn't very public. The wider Pagan community, bless their hearts, is just a huge headache sometimes, and I don't want to get caught up in the drama that inevitably arises when differing trads and opinions interact for prolonged periods of time. If no one knows what you do and believe, then no one's there to argue with you. I'm especially trying to avoid the "Real Wicca" debate. Yeah, I have an opinion and it's something I care about, but I don't want to fight about it. It doesn't solve anything. Trad Wiccans are always going to go on doing what they're doing, and eclectics are going to keep on, too.
It's so weird to be interviewing with coven #2 and thinking back on where I've been and how far I've come. I got involved in Wicca the same way most people do nowadays: through a friend, and by reading the kind of books that make me cringe now. I remember being in high school and dreaming of the days when I would have my own money to buy whatever books or supplies I wanted, the freedom to practice ritual openly (outside, even!), the ability to attend festivals and open rituals, and the knowledge and experience to finally feel comfortable with what I was doing. Most importantly, a real connection to the Divine. Now, with or without a coven, I'm finally here. It makes me think about the two friends I started all of this with back in high school. I don't keep in touch with either anymore. I wonder if they're still Pagan.
As a sidenote, a million thank yous to my thirteen-year-old self for starting to journal right away and being so consistent. While not every little thing is documented, there's enough to get an overall sense of where I've been. It can't be overemphasized how important it is to start a book of shadows (or something) right away. My first was a composition notebook covered in duct tape. After that it was three ring binders. Now, it's mostly bound books. But it doesn't matter. They all end up being precious in the end.
Anyway, I'm rambling now. In a little while it's off to dinner at a very French restaurant that, despite the heat and no ice, I hope my parents will find charming and satisfying.
Anyway, that's not what I'm here to write about.
I'm writing because for the last two weeks I've been e-mail interviewing with a coven and I've made it to stage two: the phone call. Obviously, that has to wait until I get back, but I'm really excited about it. Mostly I've been e-mailing with the group's HP, but it was the HPS who sent me the last e-mail, saying she'd like to continue the discussion via the telephone. I think if I hadn't done this once before already I'd be scared out of my mind. Now, I figure they'll either be a match or they won't. If they're not, I'll keep seeking. I was really hoping to find a coven within this particular tradition (which I won't name out of respect for the group and for the sake of my own privacy) and I'm pleased to have finally done so.
This particular group is very much in the broom closet, which actually pleases me quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm personally very open about being Wiccan, but I'd rather be a part of a group that wasn't very public. The wider Pagan community, bless their hearts, is just a huge headache sometimes, and I don't want to get caught up in the drama that inevitably arises when differing trads and opinions interact for prolonged periods of time. If no one knows what you do and believe, then no one's there to argue with you. I'm especially trying to avoid the "Real Wicca" debate. Yeah, I have an opinion and it's something I care about, but I don't want to fight about it. It doesn't solve anything. Trad Wiccans are always going to go on doing what they're doing, and eclectics are going to keep on, too.
It's so weird to be interviewing with coven #2 and thinking back on where I've been and how far I've come. I got involved in Wicca the same way most people do nowadays: through a friend, and by reading the kind of books that make me cringe now. I remember being in high school and dreaming of the days when I would have my own money to buy whatever books or supplies I wanted, the freedom to practice ritual openly (outside, even!), the ability to attend festivals and open rituals, and the knowledge and experience to finally feel comfortable with what I was doing. Most importantly, a real connection to the Divine. Now, with or without a coven, I'm finally here. It makes me think about the two friends I started all of this with back in high school. I don't keep in touch with either anymore. I wonder if they're still Pagan.
As a sidenote, a million thank yous to my thirteen-year-old self for starting to journal right away and being so consistent. While not every little thing is documented, there's enough to get an overall sense of where I've been. It can't be overemphasized how important it is to start a book of shadows (or something) right away. My first was a composition notebook covered in duct tape. After that it was three ring binders. Now, it's mostly bound books. But it doesn't matter. They all end up being precious in the end.
Anyway, I'm rambling now. In a little while it's off to dinner at a very French restaurant that, despite the heat and no ice, I hope my parents will find charming and satisfying.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Holy crap! It's been more than a year!
But that's okay. I realize that I lost all of my followers, so now I'm talking to myself, but maybe that will change soon.
A lot has changed in the last year and a half. I'm at a different university studying something completely different, I'm freshly single, I've formally left the circle I'd been a part of since 2005, and I'm suddenly feeling weirdly motivated to reconnect to the interwebs. Summer does that to me. I also have a new YouTube channel that you can find here. I had one last year for about three seconds, and then got weirded out by it. But I want to try again.
My life IMPLODED this year, and now I'm trying to put it back together in a pleasing fashion.
A lot has changed in the last year and a half. I'm at a different university studying something completely different, I'm freshly single, I've formally left the circle I'd been a part of since 2005, and I'm suddenly feeling weirdly motivated to reconnect to the interwebs. Summer does that to me. I also have a new YouTube channel that you can find here. I had one last year for about three seconds, and then got weirded out by it. But I want to try again.
My life IMPLODED this year, and now I'm trying to put it back together in a pleasing fashion.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Ostara
Ostara is tomorrow and I'm very excited. R has a friend who is hosting an Equinox bonfire this weekend and we're planning to attend. Tomorrow, I'll be conducting a solitary ritual - maybe even outdoors. I've been working outside a lot, planning this year's herb garden. It's a very small yard, but there's plenty of room for a small garden and there's a privacy fence. I am going to set up an outdoor altar, and as long as it's warm, I'll do rituals outside when I can. I've already started planting, but I'll do the rest of it this weekend.
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